Here is my top ten list of things we desire as human beings.
1. Health/ feel energized (through adequate sleep, diet, exercise and personal time)
2. Relationships/ feel belonging and appreciation
3. Service/ feel a purpose or mission greater than you (i.e another person)
4. Responsibility (i.e. to make enough financially to be independent or support your family)
5. Growth/ transformation towards becoming a better you
6. Control/ be in a position to reduce anxiety, don't blame things you can't control
7. Fun/ feel pleasure
8. Respect and competence/ be and feel superior compared to your peers
9. Engagement/ feel immersed, lost in what you do, in a state of flow (between chaos and order)
10. Identity/ feel the clarity of who you are, who you want to become
These 10 simply basic human desires can be linked to 2 desires: the desire to survive and the desire the be important (more so than your peers)
These 2 desires can be further linked to a singular desire - to have a meaningful life. If you do not feel energized, feel like you belong, feel appreciated, feel a mission of service, feel a need to work, feel self progress, feel control, feel enjoyment, feel freedom, feel capable, feel respected, feel engaged or feel the clarity of knowing who you are, who you are becoming, and what you are doing to get there, then that is a recipe for a midlife crisis.
Notice how being rich is not an element of meaning/success/happiness. You can argue that the need for money is where most people feel the need to work. But once you have enough, it no longer becomes a reason why you have to work (thus making more money won't make you happier - more important is whether you make more money than your peers). 1 study showed that making more than $75,000 does not correlate with increase feelings of happiness. Nevertheless, everybody should make it their goal to become a millionaire. Not for the money, but for who you will become. The same can be said for goal setting, you don't set goals to achieve them but to design the person that you want to become. Millionaires don't achieve their wealth without reason, they get it through serving others. And they do it by designing their life through their action and attitude to consistently become a more capable and valuable person. If you can lose yourself in your mission of service and enjoy the process while maintaining good health and relationships, you will achieve complete wholistic happiness and success. Sure it might seem scary, foreign, and without guarantee of success. But shouldn't all of us strive to live our most meaningful life? Getting rich is simply a byproduct of us living to our fullest potential.
So what is the secret to becoming one of the few members of the most financially successful? Here's a hint, you already know. When you listen to people explain to you how they achieved extreme success, it is always the same thing - set goals, write them down, work hard, practice, don't give up, be grateful, have a good attitude, treat people well, and fail often. And that makes sense - doing these things while leads to growth and a higher level of competence relative to others. But why do some people achieve success faster and easier? Why are some people miserable on the path to success while others love the ride? And why are some people stuck in a dead end job no matter how hard they work? Everyone knows what they should do to be successful, but knowing and doing are 2 separate things. I mean most people don't want to fail more often just to improve themselves. The other thing is your mindset. If you link your self-worth with how often you succeed, then you will avoid opportunities to grow for fear of failure. Adopting a growth mindset where each failure is an opportunity to improve yourself will make the journey much more enjoyable.
If you want to know what to focus on to become successful, check out my top 5 things that successful people have in common.
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